Monday, July 27, 2009

I Dare You! Christianity and Celibacy

There's an interesting thread on Christianity and Sexuality going on at Empire Remixed. (Here, here, and here). Basically, they're saying "hey guys and gals — i.e. other Christians — let's talk about sexuality in an open-minded way." They're very articulate, poetic, and heartfelt in saying this, but yes, that is what it boils down to. This message might sound pretty obvious, but really given Christianity's fraught relationship with sexuality... it's both necessary and worth applauding. (Though it's not like they are the only ones saying this kind of stuff these days — I'm just saying the more, the better).

But I'm going to be a little more aggressive, and throw down the gauntlet to evangelicals. (A Christian tradition I was raised in and identified with for most of my life, so I probably have a little aggression to get out my system here. Probably none of them actually read this blog — really, no one actually reads this blog — so I might as well be talking to myself. But, hey, it's soothing for me to post these ranting rambling on the Interconnect, and we should all support the admirable project of maintaining my sanity).

Dear evangelicals: Where in the Bible does it say not to have sex before marriage? Where exactly is that commandment? And no, vague references to 'sexual immorality' do not count. (One has to define what im/morality is first!). And neither do proscriptions against adultery, because, as anyone with a dictionary knows, adultery refers to people that are married banging people that they aren't married to.

Look, it's definitely possible to make a sound Biblical argument(s) for pre-marriage celibacy. Normally, evangelicals constantly quote chapter and verse in support of what they are saying, but strangely when it comes to sex before marriage... they don't. They don't make this argument. I was hit with a lot of 'chastity propaganda' growing up, and I never heard a good exposition of the relevant passages, in the light of the over-arching themes of the Bible.

Two reasons, I think.
1) There is no verse that says 'don't have sex before marriage.' I've read every word in the Bible, and it's just not there folks. There's implications, there's principles that could be applied to this situation based on other instructions regarding sex, but the Bible never clearly and un-ambiguously states 'don't have sex before marriage.'

2) If you tried to explain to teens why Christians shouldn't have sex before marriage, and back it up with a solid biblical reasoning... They might realize that this is an argument and that it involves a fair amount of interpretation. They might realize that you could also argue the opposite. (Yes, it's also definitely possible to make a sound Biblical argument — I think — for relaxing the proscription against sex before marriage that the Victorian Age saddled us with. I'm not saying this is a better argument or interpretation — I really don't know — I'm just saying it's possible). In other words, they would be thinking. And everyone knows that if teens actually start thinking and making their own decisions about whether God wants them to be celebate... well, clearly, we will be swept by a cascade of teen sex, abortions, pregnancies, our nation will descend into apostasy, be overcome by terrorists, run by liberals, and fall into the gaping maw of the very pit of hell.

Ok, I'm being silly. (I know you don't actually believe that. Right?) Please hear the teasing tone in my voice as I'm writing this.

And please pardon my inflamatory (ha! that's a pun!) tendencies — I do respect the viewpoint and commitment of those who are pursuing a celibate lifestyle before marriage. Going against the grain of our societal system and its unhealthy obsession with sex, and ways of dealing with it, is admirable in itself. And that's a far from easy path. But please. Let's be open about this stuff. Let's talk. Let's think. Let's not reflexively consign each other to the nether regions of 'sin,' 'heresy,' and 'un-Christian behaviour.'

I'm just stating the obvious here.

3 comments:

  1. Every once in a while I pop in to see what's new on your blog Tim!
    This post is interesting. I have come to the same conclusions about how chastity is taught.
    -Rachelle

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  2. Wow, it's funny I just recently re-discovered your blog at it's new site, and have been poking around.

    It's a relief to hear your response. To be honest, I feel nervous over this post -- wondering if friends or family of a Christian persuasion will actually read it, and be offended or judgemental. But I'm sick of not talking about it. Nobody seems willing to deal with it head on from a Christian perspective, even in the more 'liberal' circles I'm moving in these days. Back when I was thinking my way through this issue and making a decision, I did it all on my own, feeling like I couldn't really talk about it to anyone. (Though I'm sure my cowardice and social ineptitude contributed to that...).

    Anywho, if we ever get the chance, it'd be interesting to compare notes some more.

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  3. wow, great to hear stuff like that I must say!It's good to take in others' opinions

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