Flush your feelings down!

"I swear I had real feelings for her. But what are real feelings when it comes to love? If the love doesn't work out, feelings that drove you stone crazy one year could feel like a feather in your ear by the next. Feelings feel real enough when you've got them, but sometimes they don't mean much more in the scheme of things than what the weather was on this same date last year. When you think about it, it gets tough to put your emotions into boxes called Real and Not Real, or even Sexual and Not Sexual. The way a friend of mine puts it, the problem with attractions might be that they'll all sexual."
- The character Gary Gray in James Hannaham's God Says No (2009, McSweeney's, p.21).

"Utahraptor, these aliens would meet us and say 'why don't they use the feelings washroom' at the same time that we'd be saying 'why don't they use the regular washroom' and we'd both have the same 'ewww gross' tone in our voice"(http://www.qwantz.com/)